I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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