that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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