So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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