In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
