when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
