i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize