They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
