Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Randomize
