I'd wear matching sweaters with you
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
