I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Are we still banned from the library?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize