why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Randomize
