I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
