I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
