I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I pour the whiskey from now on
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
