the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think people are normalizing furries
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
