I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
