sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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