god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
