Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
