Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
420 ftw
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
