Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
