I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Holy shit dude........stairs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize