the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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