The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
