Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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