I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
