words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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