Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
