Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
