Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There r osticjed everywhere
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
