Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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