I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
