rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
