The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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