Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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