they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
