doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
