I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
