The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
