I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
