____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize