I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
