Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize