Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
