i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
