If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
