Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
