You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
