too bad you live with your parents still
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
