she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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