smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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