I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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