Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have feelings that need drinking.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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