I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
