he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
