That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
