bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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