Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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