the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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