As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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