im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
