At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Help. Why am I so naked?
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