I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
