I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
